30 July 2008

i'm alive!

i did it! i survived going alone to convention! i survived taking public transportation alone! it was not easy, though. i cried a little after bunny dropped me off at the front runner station but i kept telling myself 'i'm open to not having anxiety today. i'm open to not being afraid to do this by myself.' i also called bunny a lot to calm my anxiety too. one time i called and i said 'i'm nervous, that's why i keep calling a lot.' and he said, 'it's ok buddha.'
you all know why he paid for me to go to convention don't you? he did it to try to get me out of the house because my agoraphobia has been very bad. well, anyway, i managed to get through today and make it home still early enough to welcome millE home from yw's camp and to get some things done around the house. i'm going to bed early so i can get up early and not want to sleep in my classes. tomorrow will be an even greater push of my anxiety, but i'm sure i can do it.
oh, i forgot to mention that i got major blisters on my achilles tendons because my boots had worn into them but i didn't realize it until i got on the front runner home.
oh and a major faux pas on my part~not putting my upline's cellphone number in my cellphone so i could see where they all were going to be today.
oh, and the tour to the riverton campus rocked! it's so gorgeous out there! it was so awesome to see stampin' up!'s history on the walls and in the galleries see the people of demo support, watch the boxes of stamps be packed in the distribution center. it's really an awesome place!
ok, ok, that's it. that's all i have to report for today. ttys


Tiffany Johnson said...

I wish you luck with overcoming some obstacles for convention!!! It'll so be worth it :)

Sanela Kubiak said...

I am glad you made it. We need to catch up when you're ready and not so busy. I'm here, little busy, but here. Miss Ya...

judy anderson said...

Oh Bella,
Congratulations to you for taking the risk and to 'bunny' for his encouragement. In the fall my therapist gave me an assignment to see a human being everyday and my hubby didn't count. It is easy for me to stay home all day.
I am soooo proud of you and it is okay to cry. Hey is the convention in the 'salt' place?